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Wolfbane
Unread post  Post subject: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:15 pm

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I could use that electronic hug. Coughing so hard I can’t use my CPAP, keep wondering if my insurance is going to count this against me. Then I get feverish and don’t care.


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TheLankyLefty
Unread post  Post subject: Re: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:48 pm
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Boom...you've been e-hugged. Sorry you're coughing so much and feeling lousy.

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Kittens McTavish
Unread post  Post subject: Re: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 2:06 am
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I feel for ya! Four years ago I got the flu TWICE within two months. (I get the flu shot now; well worth it).

Maybe this classic Dave Barry essay will cheer you up:

We have the flu. I don’t know if this particular strain has an official name, but if it does, it must be something like Martian Death Flu. You may have had it yourself. The main symptom is that you wish you had another setting on your electric blanket, up past “HIGH,” that said: “ELECTROCUTION.”

Another symptom is that you cease brushing your teeth because (a) your teeth hurt and (b) you lack the strength. Midway through the brushing process, you’d have to lie down in front of the sink to rest for a couple of hours, and rivulets of toothpaste foam would dribble sideways out of your mouth, eventually hardening into crusty little toothpaste stalagmites that would bond your head permanently to the bathroom floor, which is where the police would find you. You know the kind of flu I’m talking about.

I spend a lot of time lying very still and thinking flu-related thoughts. One insight I have had is that all this time scientists have been telling us the truth: Air really is made up of tiny objects called “molecules.” I know this because I can feel them banging against my body. There are billions and billions and billions of them, but if I concentrate, I can detect each one individually, striking my body, especially my eyeballs, at speeds upwards of a hundred thousand miles per hour. If I try to escape by pulling the blanket over my face, they attack my hair, which has become almost as sensitive as my teeth.

There has been a mound of blankets on my wife’s side of the bed for several days now, absolutely motionless except that it makes occasional efforts to spit into a tissue. I think it might be my wife, but the only way to tell for sure would be to prod it, which I wouldn’t do even if I had the strength, because if it turned out that it was my wife, and she were alive, and I prodded her, it would kill her.

Me, I am leading a more active lifestyle. Three or four times a day, I attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Unfortunately this is a distance of nearly 15 feet, with a great many air molecules en route, so at about the halfway point I usually decide to stop and get myself into the fetal position and hope for nuclear war. Instead, I get Earnest. Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all female dogs have, she tries to lick my ears off.

For my son, Robert, this is proving to be the high point of his entire life to date. He has had his pajamas on for two, maybe three days now. He has a sense of joyful independence a five-year-old child gets when he suddenly realizes that he could be operating an acetylene torch in the coat closet and neither parent would have the strength to object. He has been foraging for his own food, which means his diet consists entirely of “food” substances that are advertised only on Saturday morning cartoon shows; substances that are the color of jukebox lights and that, for legal reasons, have their names spelled wrong, as in New Creemy Chock-’n’-Cheez Lumps o’ Froot (“part of this complete breakfast”).

Crawling around, my face inches from the carpet, I sometimes encounter traces of colorful wrappers that Robert has torn from these substances and dropped on the floor, where Earnest, always on patrol, has found them and chewed them into spit-covered wads. I am reassured by this. It means they are both eating.

The Martian Death Flu has not been an entirely bad thing. Since I cannot work, or move, or think, I have been able to spend more Quality Time with Robert, to come up with creative learning activities that we can enjoy and share together. Today, for example, I taught him, as my father had taught me, how to make an embarrassing noise with your hands. Then we shot rubber bands at the contestants on “Divorce Court.” Then, just in case some parts of our brains were still alive, we watched professional bowling. Here’s what televised professional bowling sounds like when you have the flu:

PLAY-BY-PLAY MAN: He left the 10-pin, Bob.
COLOR COMMENTATOR: Yes, Bill. He failed to knock it down.
PLAY-BY-PLAY MAN: It’s still standing up.
COLOR COMMENTATOR: Yes. Now he must try to knock it down.
PLAY-BY-PLAY MAN: You mean the 10-pin, Bob?

The day just flew by. Soon it was 3:30 P.m., time to crawl back through the air molecules to the bedroom, check on my wife or whoever that is, and turn in for the night.

Earnest was waiting about halfway down the hall.

“Look at this,” the police will say when they find me. “His ears are missing.”

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When you're not here, I'm suffocating
I wanna feel love run through my blood
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For you, I have to risk it all
Cause the writing's on the wall

Sam Smith


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Wolfbane
Unread post  Post subject: Re: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 11:17 am

Joined: Fri Oct 06, 2017 8:57 pm
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Thanks Jason and Kittens.......I’m feeling that hug and the humor was so appreciated. I had my flu shot, so I guess maybe i should get better sooner, I hope so.


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Karen
Unread post  Post subject: Re: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 1:25 pm

Joined: Mon Aug 28, 2017 3:50 pm
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PAP Mask: Amara ViewFFM, Dreamwear nasal, Brevida nasal cushions, Resmed N20 nasal mask
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E-Hug Wolfbane.

Thanks for the laugh Kittens!


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TheLankyLefty
Unread post  Post subject: Re: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 5:04 pm
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Wolfbane wrote:
I had my flu shot, so I guess maybe i should get better sooner, I hope so.
I got my flu shot early this year and immediately got some hybrid "funk" that I could feel coursing through my veins the second the HR nurse plunged the syringe into my hairy deltoid.

I may have to tap out with the flu shot next year and instead opt for the Hannibal Lecter mask and dirty looks from conforming co-workers.

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cindyY
Unread post  Post subject: Re: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 6:29 pm

Joined: Sun Apr 23, 2017 8:34 pm
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TheLankyLefty wrote:
I may have to tap out with the flu shot next year and instead opt for the Hannibal Lecter mask and dirty looks from conforming co-workers.


As long as you don't tell anybody you're having a friend over for dinner with some fava beans and a nice chianti, you should be fine. :shock:

Wolfbane, sorry you have the flu. I had it in mid-April through early May (right after I started xpap, unrelated, I'm sure). I used a 12-hour cough suppressant syrup which helped a lot and let me stop coughing enough to sleep a few hours at a time. I think compliance for the insurance is 4 hours (within a 24 hour period) for 21 out of 30 days. I just got an automated call from my DME asking me if I used my machine at least those specific amounts so I'm pretty sure this is correct. If you are that worried that you might lose it, try putting it on and just lying there with it on, you can relax or read or if you have a television in your room, watch tv. It may not be the best way to do it, but if it lets you keep your machine.....

Good luck with your flu (BIG E-HUG),
Cindy


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Karen
Unread post  Post subject: Re: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2017 12:45 pm

Joined: Mon Aug 28, 2017 3:50 pm
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Location: Buffalo, NY
PAP Mask: Amara ViewFFM, Dreamwear nasal, Brevida nasal cushions, Resmed N20 nasal mask
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Wolfbane- Just had an idea because I had some super funky asthma, bronchitus AFTER the flu shot that lasted a year. I just put my mask on, took a few breaths...ripped it off...let the machine run over 4 hours...showed 100% compliance on MY PART....does insurance/DME really give a flying (insert explitive)? I don't think so...It was all good to them. With my particular insurance I am required to show 70% compliance in a 30 day period. I don't know what yours is, but I just got a new machine and I will be sure they get their darn numbers.


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Karen
Unread post  Post subject: Re: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2017 12:47 pm

Joined: Mon Aug 28, 2017 3:50 pm
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Location: Buffalo, NY
PAP Mask: Amara ViewFFM, Dreamwear nasal, Brevida nasal cushions, Resmed N20 nasal mask
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I really need to edit before submit. I meant to say THIS year. Not A YEAR. LOL. Perhaps a slip because it felt like a year. Hope you feel better!


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Wolfbane
Unread post  Post subject: Re: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 10:48 pm

Joined: Fri Oct 06, 2017 8:57 pm
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Pressure Setting: 10 cm H2O

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Ya’ll are the best group! I’m recovering well, didn’t even trip my asthma on, last time I had it my heart went wacky and I had the never ending asthma attack! Jason, I dunno man, a short course of the flu-like funk if you get the shot beats a full out case in my book. Kittens, I’m saving the Dave Berry for future reference! Karen, I got email concerning big mask leak when I tried to let it run, LOL! FEELING MUCH BETTER, THX!


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LSAT
Unread post  Post subject: Re: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 9:48 am

Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 9:40 am
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Location: WI
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Karen wrote:
Wolfbane- Just had an idea because I had some super funky asthma, bronchitus AFTER the flu shot that lasted a year. I just put my mask on, took a few breaths...ripped it off...let the machine run over 4 hours...showed 100% compliance on MY PART....does insurance/DME really give a flying (insert explitive)? I don't think so...It was all good to them. With my particular insurance I am required to show 70% compliance in a 30 day period. I don't know what yours is, but I just got a new machine and I will be sure they get their darn numbers.


The idea of the CPAP machine is to fix your health issues .. not to fool the insurance company. If you were prescribed a machine it was because you stopped breathing during your sleep. Fooling insurance to prove compliance will not increase your O2 levels or help your heart.


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diamaunt
Unread post  Post subject: Re: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 1:31 pm
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Karen wrote:
Wolfbane- Just had an idea because I had some super funky asthma, bronchitus AFTER the flu shot that lasted a year. I just put my mask on, took a few breaths...ripped it off...let the machine run over 4 hours...showed 100% compliance on MY PART....does insurance/DME really give a flying (insert explitive)? I don't think so...It was all good to them. With my particular insurance I am required to show 70% compliance in a 30 day period. I don't know what yours is, but I just got a new machine and I will be sure they get their darn numbers.

You're lucky that nobody looked at the numbers, because the machine shows that no breathing was detected, after you ripped off the mask.

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Kittens McTavish
Unread post  Post subject: Re: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 9:25 pm
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diamaunt wrote:
You're lucky that nobody looked at the numbers, because the machine shows that no breathing was detected, after you ripped off the mask.


Indeed, that's why I named my machine "Santa Claus."

It sees you when you're sleeping.
It knows when you're awake.

_________________
How do I live? How do I breathe?
When you're not here, I'm suffocating
I wanna feel love run through my blood
Tell me is this where I give it all up?
For you, I have to risk it all
Cause the writing's on the wall

Sam Smith


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diamaunt
Unread post  Post subject: Re: I’ve got the flu!  |  Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 10:01 pm
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Kittens McTavish wrote:
diamaunt wrote:
You're lucky that nobody looked at the numbers, because the machine shows that no breathing was detected, after you ripped off the mask.


Indeed, that's why I named my machine "Santa Claus."

It sees you when you're sleeping.
It knows when you're awake.

It knows when you've been sleeping, it knows when you've been bad or good... so sleep good for goodness sake!

Your comment gave me a grin :)

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