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Unread post  Post subject: Miserable and Struggling!  |  Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:45 am

Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2015 3:09 am
Posts: 160
Location: New Jersey
PAP Mask: Bleep Mask
PAP Machine: Resmed AirCurve 10 VAuto
Humidifier: HumidAir Heated Humidifier
Pressure Setting: Low - 12 High - 25

I am closer to sleeping steady with my CPAP machine and mask but it's about once a week now that I try it and sometimes I get a few hours hours of sleep and then I actually feel a little better!

But it's been a long hard road because I get nervous with a full face mask but I breath through my mouth sometimes so I guess I need the full face one.

I struggled for 5 years with being emotional and cranky and not being able to think at times and even though I now have a great lung doctor and I now feel that I may have the right mask there are always things that happen that still keep me from sleeping but I am closer to being on the road to good steady sleep then ever before.

Recently my problems were that my Resmed F20 mask was leaking air and making loud noises but I fixed the problem with getting cloth mask liners.

Next was that the Anti Asphyxia valve holes were blowing air into my eyes but for now I curl the tubing around and tuck it underneath the top strap of the head gear because I am that desperate for all this to work and it seems to be working.

But until I get decent sleep I am an absolute nightmare to everyone around me and I hate myself for it!

Before Sleep Apnea I was never ever this way!

I snap at everyone and I am exhausted and moody all the time and I also end up sobbing for no reason.

Even if I try desperately hard to stay calm and be nice to others around me I still have them seemingly annoyed with me for some reason.

I am now having great problems concentrating and reading and making simple decisions let alone difficult ones!

I recently turned down an opportunity of a lifetime and I'm kicking myself for it!

I was offered a great apartment with low rent and now that chance is gone forever!

Now after that happened I am constantly crying!

I am so absolutely miserable!

Unread post  Post subject: Re: Miserable and Struggling!  |  Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 8:09 am
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2016 2:26 am
Posts: 2572
Location: Dallas(ish)
PAP Mask: Resmed P10
PAP Machine: Resmed S9 vpap auto
Pressure Setting: 18/13-25/19

Nothing in forever.

Sleepyhead Info
How to format your charts

Unread post  Post subject: Re: Miserable and Struggling!  |  Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 1:52 pm

Joined: Sun Apr 23, 2017 8:34 pm
Posts: 452
Location: Southern California
PAP Mask: AirFit P10, DreamWear FFM
PAP Machine: Resmed AirCurve 10 VAuto in S mode
Humidifier: Integrated set to 5 @ 81F; ClimateLineAir heated hose
Pressure Setting: IPAP 19 EPAP 15

We can't go back and change the past. If we could we would never move forward because we would always be going back to change this decision or tweak that action, or re-word a conversation, or avoid one altogether. All you can do is go forward, the alternative is death, it's like birthdays, you'd rather be a year older than the alternative, again, death (sorry! I don't mean to be morbid here).

I understand about the moodiness, concentration problems, etc. it's all from sleep deprivation which I'm sure you know, so hating yourself is wasted energy, ENERGY YOU DON'T HAVE, so quit it (she said good-naturedly)! And the crying may seem irrational to some people, but it's your body's way of relieving stress, and the adrenaline rush your body receives every time you try to breathe but can't is stressful. It plays havoc with your emotions and you can feel out of control and not recognize yourself sometimes. After a while you can forget that you weren't always that way, or that it must be because you are getting older, but once you start getting some good, restful sleep, you should feel if not like your old self, at least closer to it. If you haven't told people you have sleep apnea and the effects it has on you, you might want to do that so you don't irreparably damage the relationships that matter to you. You can tell them that you are working on getting things under control but that you might have some bad nights, so please excuse your behavior and bear with you. If they are your friends and family, hopefully they will love you through it. If they are your coworkers, hopefully they will ignore you through it. ;)

You are taking action, that is the important thing. You are fixing your problems so that CPAP will eventually work for you, well done, you.

Unread post  Post subject: Re: Miserable and Struggling!  |  Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 3:58 pm

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:10 pm
Posts: 736
PAP Mask: Fisher & Paykel Simplus
PAP Machine: Resmed S9AutoSet for Her
Humidifier: H5I
Pressure Setting: Titrated Pressure is 10 CM-H2O, I use a range of 7/20 CM-H2O.

You are much further along than some who won't try; you are trying, just hang in there, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.
I'm not good with pasting emoticons into a post, so I'll just say, here, have a big hug, and a shoulder to cry on to help you through this rough patch. You will get through this, it might take a while, but you'll get through it.
I encourage you to just keep checking back here and let us know how you are doing as you go through this trial.

Unread post  Post subject: Re: Miserable and Struggling!  |  Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 6:12 pm

Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 4:26 pm
Posts: 12
PAP Mask: N20
PAP Machine: ResMed Airsense 10 Autostart for her
Humidifier: Included
Pressure Setting: 6 - 14

I am sorry you're going through this rough time. It is tough to be sick and not yourself. These tough times will pass. Not necessarily tomorrow, but they will. There will be other apartments other good and fun times ahead.

So stick to your treatment and one day you will realize, you feel better.

If you do feel you have said something wrong, apologize and tell the person you are not yourself lately. A good friend will cut you some slack.

There is a book you might find helpful. It is called "full catastrophe living" by jon kabat-zinn. If you have a library nearby, you could probably get an audio tape of it. It is mostly for people living with chronic pain, but he has a lot of helpful advice.

Unread post  Post subject: Re: Miserable and Struggling!  |  Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 2:39 pm
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 09, 2017 9:28 am
Posts: 58
PAP Mask: P10
PAP Machine: Resmed Airsense 10 Autoset For Her
Humidifier: Built-in
Pressure Setting: 9.2-13

Since full face masks make you nervous (anxiety?), I would think that trying a nasal mask, or nasal pillow mask might help you "do" therapy more often. Sometimes a person is condemned to an inappropriate mask, resulting in more difficulty adjusting to therapy. Later, you could go back to the full face mask, if needed, and possibly with a soft, cuddly mask liner. Entreat your doctor to write a special rx for a different mask. It could make all the difference. And a moist, froggy hug, if you still need one!

I once was lost in apnea, but now I'm found--breathing easily all night long.

Unread post  Post subject: Re: Miserable and Struggling!  |  Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 3:01 pm

Joined: Sat Jun 24, 2017 2:32 pm
Posts: 7
Location: San Antonio, Texas
PAP Mask: Resmed Airfit F20 Full Face Mask
PAP Machine: Resmed Air Curve 10S Bilevel
Humidifier: Built in
Pressure Setting: Bilevel 24/20

I had trouble learning to keep a full face mask on for more than 2 hours at a time. Then I tried some soft earplugs, which did the trick for me.

If you haven't already, you should let your doctor know about your feelings. It sounds like you might be struggling with depression (lack of concentration, crying, trouble making decisions, etc). I've been there and have been on antidepressants for years (they help). Give yourself some grace about your struggles.

Unread post  Post subject: Re: Miserable and Struggling!  |  Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 3:47 pm

Joined: Mon Aug 28, 2017 10:58 pm
Posts: 53
PAP Mask: Amara
PAP Machine: Dreamstation apap
Humidifier: Dreamstation
Pressure Setting: 5 to 10 cmH20

Hi and hang in there!

If I would think about all the lousy business decisions I have made and money I lost over the years I'd be in a puddle on the floor!

Always look forward!

As it has been said "its hard to go forward when you are looking backward".

Also double check your settings on your machine. They seem kind of high fromwhat I have learned from this forum. Could be why the mask leaks are so annoying.

Just my 2 cents!.

A duck goes into a barber shop and asks the barber"You got any grapes" The barber says "no I don't have any grapes this is a barber shop". The duck leaves but comes back the next two days and asks the same question. The barber annoyed at that point says to the duck " go away and the next time you come in here I'm going to shoot you with my gun". The duck leaves and sure enough the next day he shows up at the barber shop and asks " do you have a gun?" The barber snswers "no I don't have a gun" then the duck asks" Got any grapes?"
Hee! Hee!

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